Ego Machine

A quick mix of Eyedea & Abilities and Bassnectar.

I don’t get those “I’ll rate your blog if you ask me something” things. What’s the point if everyone gets a 9 or 10? STANDING OVATIONS FOR EVERYONE.

I used to be so good at things.

Now look at me:

it’s almost four in the afternoon and I’m still in bed.

At least I have pants on.

Do drugs before they do you.

There once was a bro named chad

Gelled up hair and Oakleys he had

He went to the club

and his dick he did rub

All over a dance floor club slut’s ass.

i herd u liek shitty mashups.

The only reason to build a house

is so you can burn it down later.

fuck/fuck
Fuck the world
I just wanna
smoke and fuck

this is not a poem, it’s a serious question
Is there a job
where I can get high on acid all day?

mad libs are cool
I haven’t given a fuck
since 2003
and life has never been
______ (comparative adjective).

srsly
Everyone can get fucked.

The internet just makes me mad these days.

I hated Kony 2012 before it was cool.

I’m a hip-hop DJ now. Am I cool yet?

(WIP, 2nd edit, by the way)

I wrote a script about how I hate everyone who takes creative writing classes.

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What National Day Is On Your Birthday

haunterdubstep:

blooddiesel:

wisefeatheryasshole:

animau5:

Festival Of Popular Delusions Day

lovely

International Panic Day 

BI

November 4th is “Await the Barbarians Day”

It better be.

December 28th: Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day

Wow ew

Paul Bunyan Day. Eat shit everyone who isn’t me.

Why does every girl on Tumblr have crippling self-esteem issues?